The fear of not being good enough, is something that affects loads of people in life. It’s a universal fear that I believe at some stage everybody has felt it.

Overcoming the fear of not being good enough is learning to understand that you can strive for good enough, and the recognition that less than perfect is actually perfect.

There’s a wonderful saying about not letting perfect become the enemy of good.

This fear of not being enough is something that many of us have cultivated for years, much of it came from expectations that were set by family or school when we were children, we then just carried on developing until it became so ingrained, we forgot where it came from.

Here are my seven steps to overcome the fear of not being good enough.

1. Awareness

Start taking notice of the times when this fear creeps into your mind, what are the triggers? Create a list so you can start to notice the patterns that may be contributing to your feeling. When you start to feel like you are heading down the fear spiral it’s important to find a way to stop this but knowing you’re on the spiral is the first step.

2. Curiosity

Ask yourself what causes the fear? Be interested in where you are noticing the feeling, is it in your tummy, heart or head. Start to really delve into the details behind it, it’s a bit like looking under a rock. We get into the habit of trying to ignore things that don’t feel good, but actually taking the time to acknowledge what you are feeling with a loving curiosity is a great place to start to be able to make change.

3. Fake it till you make it

 Think about how you would like to feel about yourself, and then stop doing it. Confidence is actually a learned skill and the more you do it, the easier and more natural, it will become. You’ve just got to start somewhere.

4. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

The brilliant Susan Jeffers wrote a whole book about this. It’s about acknowledging that you find something scary but facing it and doing it anyway. The sense of pride that you’ll get in doing this will boost your confidence no end. As you start to embrace the things that challenge you in life and get some wins under your belt and you prove to yourself you can achieve the things you want, the fear of not being enough will start to dimmish.

5. Self-talk.

When you start to go down the spiral of not thinking you are not enough, I want you to imagine that you’re talking to somebody else. Like your best friend is coming to you and telling you that fear and worry they’re not enough. What would you say to them, write it down, learn to speak to yourself, only as you would speak to others. As I always say to my brain, you’re on my side buddy, make sure you stick with the program.

6. Practice

Practice is vital to learning any new skill is vital, just because it’s a different type of skill doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the same approach is something like learning a new language or sport. It’s not meant to be easy when you start, as you’ve never done it before, you haven’t built the neural pathways, but with daily practice will get easier.

7. You’re not alone.

Everybody has felt like this at some stage in their life. It is completely normal. Understanding this and talking about your fear to others is a great way to work through all the previous steps. It’s really important to know that you’re not alone in this. Finding a group where you feel safe and confident to talk about these things can be a great way of moving forward.

Feeling like you’re not enough can be totally debilitating. It can stop you from moving forward in working life It can affect relationships with people, especially people we really love taking the time to learn how to overcome these feelings will change your life, and something totally worth working on.

If you could do with some support around this feeling then please reach out, take advantage of my free 15minute Ready for Change call. Click the link to book now. 

Or contact me for more information on how I work.